Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
