I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
