I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
