After last night, I could never be a politician.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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