talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
