he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
