someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize