i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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