She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
