so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
