you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
