my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
