Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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