i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
