He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
