i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
