also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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