Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Bring me that man meat
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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