I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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