We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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