her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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