well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
