i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
being pregnant is like rehab
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
