I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My pussy is not your playground.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
