pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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