...so i touched it.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
