haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
