just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
