Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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