She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize