i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
