is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
