5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
