I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
