So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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