I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
