I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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