my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
