I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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