Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
