I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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