I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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