After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
