Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
