I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
