I forgot how hot balto sounded
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
