we made out on top of his cat.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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