Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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