If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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