didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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