I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
