YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
