WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
