Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize